


"Dear Shakespeare,

by softuris



Category: IT (2017), IT (2019), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Bad Parents Maggie & Wentworth Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, References to Depression, Richie Tozier Being an Asshole, Richie Tozier Has Issues, Underage Drinking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 05:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20148445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softuris/pseuds/softuris
Summary: Could you write a happy ending, please?"Relationships and Richie Tozier never seem to work out, which was something Eddie Kaspbrak refused to believe.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know where this came from, or where it will go, but let's just roll with it. sorry for any mistakes, i'm exhausted while writing this and running off caffeine. 
> 
> read with caution if things in the tags could trigger you, please. i'm here if anybody needs to talk to somebody.

Red eyes stared at a blank white wall as time felt like it was passing by slower than ever. The room was foggy from the smoke it was filled with, the windows shut so no smoke could escape. It was Richie's favorite way to get high. He often passed time by sitting in his room, smoking multiple joints he had gathered, with the windows and his door shut. And it worried Eddie sick.

Richie had unhealthy coping mechanisms, and it was something all of the losers knew about. He hated speaking out about his issues, he hated people asking him questions, he hated anything that had to do with emotions. Instead, he chose to get high. And even sometimes drunk. He would go out and party occasionally, and end up hitching a ride from one of the others at almost sunrise. But they didn't mind, as long as he was home safely.

When Richie and Eddie first got together, Richie was kind of skeptical about it. He was nervous, apprehensive. But seeing Eddie with the biggest smile Richie had ever seen made all of that go away. For the the first year.

They were now going on their second year, and Richie had no idea how they made it that far. He knew he had a habit of ruining any sort of relationship that came his way, it was like a routine. He'd show affection, receive affection, deem it enough, and leave. Eddie heard rumors of it many times before, but always refused to believe that it was true.

Eddie Kaspbrak was undeniably in love with Richie Tozier. 

A panicked knock on his window interrupted Richie's never-ending and self deprecating thoughts, his head slowly turning to the source. Outside, he could see the big doe like eyes that his boyfriend possessed staring in at him, and he let out a quiet groan under his breath.

"Go away, Eds." Richie called out to him, falling backwards onto his bed.

As soon as he heard his window opening up, he cursed under his breath. He always forgot to lock it, which was something Eddie usually scolded him for.

"Richie, you're going to kill yourself from breathing in all this smoke!" Eddie scolded, grabbing a notebook from the desk and trying to fan it out the window. Richie rolled his eyes and he stared up at the ceiling. "So?" He simply replied.

The bed dipped next to him as Eddie sat down, leaning close to try and get a good look of Richie's eyes. "How much did you smoke this time?" He asked, inspecting the redness that took over the whites of his eyes. Richie slightly pushed Eddie out of his face, scooting away. "Mind your business." He mumbled.

Eddie's eyes held a look of hurt as he stared at his boyfriend, and Richie could feel the deep stare burning holes into his skin.

"Stop staring at me." Richie spoke up again, turning his back toward Eddie, as the other boy sighed heavily. 

"I wish you'd talk to me." Eddie said softly, and Richie hated how soft Eddie always spoke when it was directed to him. He felt like he should be getting harsh and sharp tones, instead of tones that were blurred around the edges.

Richie rolled his eyes again, waving his hand in a care free manner. "Yeah, yeah. I hear that all the time." He answered, his tone more care free than the wave of the hand. Eddie's bottom lip quivered a little, and he felt tears forming. But he quickly coughed, and tried to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.

Richie hadn't talked to Eddie in days, his phone laying dead and untouched on his floor. He shut everybody out, not wanting to hear advice on how to control his mental health and his coping mechanisms and his relationship and more apart of the endless list of bullshit the others tried to throw at him. He didn't give a shit. He knew what he was doing. And in his mind, he was getting along just fine. So why did they always try to corner him and host some sort of intervention? Richie had no idea. He hated it. Scratch that, he _ despised _ it. 

"Please just go home." Richie said, after what felt like deafening hours of silence. And finally, Eddie sniffled as the water works started rolling.

There was one thing about Richie. No matter how fucked up he knew he treated everybody, he _ hated _ making Eddie cry. He could feel his whole body tense up once he heard the faint sniffle, and something in his chest felt like it was pulling.

Slowly, Richie turned to face Eddie only to see his boyfriend staring at the mess of the sheets on the bed with tears rolling down his cheeks. "Eds.." Richie whispered, reaching out to place a hand on Eddie's knee.

"Don't call me that." Eddie choked out in reply, moving away. Richie actually felt hurt at that.

Standing up, Eddie wiped his eyes vigorously as if it would make his tears magically stop and disappear. "All you do is lay in your bed and waste away. All you fucking do is sit here and smoke or drink yourself one day closer to death. You don't answer your calls, your texts, your door, anything. And I'm sick and tired of worrying about your stupid fucking self and wondering if my boyfriend is alive or not!" He snapped, his words only making his tears roll down his cheeks even more. 

Richie stared at Eddie with a clenched jaw, pinching his palm over and over again. He opened his mouth to speak, but Eddie pointed an accusing finger at him.

"No! It's my turn to speak. All you do is tell me to shut up or that you can handle it when we all know you can't!" Eddie yelled, feeling his pent up anger finally releasing after months.

Eddie sniffled again and he held back a sob, his eyes flooded with hurt and tears. "I love you, Richie. But you're slowly killing yourself and you won't let anybody help! What am I gonna do if you die?" He spoke again, his tone sounding exhausted.

"You'll get over it. I'll just be a distant memory." Richie replied, sounding dull, and Eddie finally let out his sob. He stared at Richie right in the eyes, feeling unbelievably hurt and angry. "Fuck you." He hissed, then grabbed his backpack and stormed out of the room while making sure to slam the bedroom door shut behind him. 

-

When Richie didn't show up to to school for the past few days, Eddie tried not to worry. He was tired of worrying if he only received carelessness in response. But he couldn't help it.

He didn't know if Richie was dead, alive, functioning, sober, anything. But he refused to go over there. It had been two weeks since they spoke.

"Eddie, I really think you should talk to him.." Beverly suggested, for what felt like the millionth time, and Eddie was beginning to wonder if this was how Richie felt with him. "Tried that." Eddie mumbled, keeping his eyes downward as he stared at the book he had zero interest in.

Groaning in annoyance, Beverly grabbed the book and slammed it shut. She moved to sit herself down right onto Eddie's lap and forced him to look up at her. "Listen, Edward." She began, using her best stern tone. "I'm tired of seeing you moping around like this. I hate seeing my best friend upset. You have to do something about this, please? Either break up with him or force him to therapy or whatever. But just at least something." She said, exasperated. 

Her look of frustration faded when she saw the tears welling up in Eddie's eyes and she immediately hugged onto him. "I'm sorry, Eddie.." She whispered, rubbing his back as the boy started to cry into her shoulder.

"I've tried, Bev. It's gotten me no where at all. He just doesn't care!" Eddie cried out, pulling back to look up at her. "I asked him what I was supposed to do if he died, and you know what he told me? He said that he would just become a distant memory." He added, remembering his boyfriend's words that hurt him so deeply.

Beverly sighed softly, "I'll talk to him." She whispered.

-

It was a few hours later and Richie was laying on his bedroom floor, on his side with throw up on both his shirt and the wooden floor beneath him.

There were empty beer bottles scattered in random spots in his room, ones he stole from his dad's not-so-secret stash. Beverly climbed through his window and gasped when she saw him. For a moment, she thought he was dead.

She rushed over to him and pulled him so he was sitting up, checking his pulse and making sure he wasn't hurt. Richie shoved her hands away groggily, opening up his eyes again. "Go away.." He mumbled, his breath making her cringe in disgust. "'M fine." He slurred out, making Beverly shake her head in response.

"You're obviously not. And you're so fucking lucky it wasn't Eddie who found you like this." Beverly hissed, standing up and pulling Richie up with her. She dragged him into his bathroom, silently thanking the fact that he has the en suite bedroom. She took off his shirt and pants, leaving his boxers on, and sat him in the bathtub. Beverly started to wash Richie's body for him with a wash cloth, while Richie's head bobbed as he tried to stay awake.

"You have to stop this, Richie. You can't keep doing this. You're hurting so many people who have to watch you like this. Especially Eddie." Beverly said. "Remember him? Your boyfriend you haven't spoke to in weeks, let alone show any sort of affection to in months?" She asked sourly, angry at Richie for it. But Richie only shrugged.

Shaking her head again, Beverly rinsed the soap off of him and sat back against the wall. "He's still fucking hanging on after how shitty you treat him. Because he loves you, and you just don't care." She told him.

-

Beverly's words stuck with Richie, even as he was sober.

They kept ringing in his mind, replaying over and over again, and Richie tried to tune them out but he couldn't.

He knew he was a bad boyfriend, horrible even. But he couldn't control it. There, he finally admitted it. Of course, only to himself and never to the losers, but at least he admitted it. Richie Tozier couldn't handle his depression and the treatment he received from his parents.

It was like a downward spiral with him. One thing could set him off so easily and he would just keep spiraling down into a deep and dark state that he wouldn't get out of for months.

He felt alone, even if he knew he had friends and a boyfriend who were one dial away from being right over to help care for him.

He truly felt like he had no one.

But Eddie.. Eddie stuck with him through all of this, Eddie didn't leave. Eddie tried to check up on him, and he tried to make him feel as loved as he could. But Richie pushed him away. He always pushed him away. And he hated it.

Maybe it was the way his parents raised him and constantly acted around him, or maybe Richie was just born with a doomed life. But he knew that he was fucked up. He knew full well that he had issues that had gotten so bad that he hadn't left his room because of in weeks.

Out of all of the things Richie tried to block out completely, the love he held for Eddie always seeped through the cracks. It always pushed it's away in and stayed in his mind, even if it was just a small spot. He did love Eddie. So much. So much that it hurt him deep inside when he thought about all of the shitty things he's said or all the times he's shoved Eddie away.

He just felt like he didn't deserve it. Relationships and Richie Tozier never seem to work out, and that's something Eddie Kaspbrak refused to believe. He just wanted to love Richie in anyway he could, even if it meant getting hurt. Even after all of the tears, yelling, harsh words, feeling of heartbreak, everything. Eddie still loved him so unconditionally that he didn't mind all of that.

One time Richie had yelled and screamed at Eddie to go away, to just leave him alone. But Eddie put on a brave face and hugged onto Richie until he calmed down and stopped fighting. Richie never forgot how Eddie covered him up and kissed his forehead, whispering how much he loved him before Richie fell asleep that night.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im writing this while sleep deprived at 3 am running off of caffeine and also sick. so if this is bad, that's why. i apologize.

The next week, Richie showed up at school after what was months. Two months to be exact. He was considered well passed truant at this point, but the school board was too tired of him to still give a shit anymore.

People stared at him as he trudged down the narrow hallways, posters about homecoming making him scoff in disgust. He hated school dances, or any kind of school event. He thought they were all the stupidest things to ever exist in the world. 

Richie made it to his locker and he put in his combination, yanking it open. He tossed his notebooks in it, already tired of carrying them around.

"Woah, woah, woah.. You're here?" A voice spoke from behind him.

Turning around, Richie was met with the face of a smiling Ben. "It's nice to see you again, Rich. Been worried about you." He told him, patting his shoulder twice. Richie scoffed again, rolling his eyes.

He turned to his locker again, slamming it shut after grabbing the cigarette pack that he left in there weeks ago and forgot about. "Nice to see that you're in a great mood." Ben mumbled, opening up his locker that was next to Richie's.

The taller boy ignored his friend, walking off and wandering down the hallway and out to the quad.

-

Around lunch, Richie was bored out of his mind from school. He wanted to leave, and didn't even know why he stayed this long to begin with. He went to the ASB room where he knew Eddie would be.

Pushing the door open, all eyes turned to look at Richie in confusion and annoyance as he walked in and tossed his backpack down loudly onto an empty desk. "Rich, what are you doing here?" Eddie asked, holding his notebook and pen in his hand since he was previously writing down ideas for the homecoming dance coming up before being interrupted by the glasses wearing boy.

Richie's eyes landed on Eddie and he smirked a bit. "Hey, Eds." He greeted, plopping down in a chair. "I'm kinda feeling horny. Can we go to the bathroom so you can take care of it?" He asked, making Eddie's cheeks turn a bright shade of red. Eddie quickly set his notebook down, getting up and going toward Richie. "Leave, please?" He begged him, full of embarrassment.

Richie rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "We could do it right here if you want us to since you want to be so rude." He said cockily, narrowing his eyes up at Eddie.

The president of the ASB club scoffed in disgust, the other members staring at them in shock and disgust, and Eddie was humiliated.

"Richie, this isn't funny. Please just go.." Eddie begged again, his hands beginning to shake as he got more and more anxious which made Richie laugh mockingly. "Just a few weeks ago, you were begging me for attention. And the minute I give it to you, you tell me to leave?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and standing up. Eddie gave Richie a hurt look, holding back his sadness as best as he could. He gulped when Richie towered over him, taking a step back. "Don't you think that's a little rude, Eds?" Richie asked, speaking in a warning tone and stepping closer to the small boy.

Eddie quickly grabbed Richie's wrist, practically dragging him out of the room. He was still shaking, even more than before now as his whole body was tense and he was full of embarrassment.

Once they were outside, Eddie turned to Richie. "Why would you do that?" He asked, dropping his wrist. Richie rolled his eyes, and he leaned against the wall. "What? You think my dick is gonna suck itself?" He asked, making Eddie shove him slightly. "No, asshole! Why would you go into the class and say those things in front of everybody? You're going to get me kicked out of ASB!" Eddie yelled, genuinely hurt by all of this.

Again, Richie scoffed. "Jesus, now I know why I choose to ignore you more often than talking." He mumbled to himself, but Eddie still heard.

Eddie's bottom lip quivered and he stepped away from Richie, looking down.

"You're such a fucking dick.." He whispered.

A mocking laugh left Richie's lips, and he stood up straight again. "I can be even more of a dick and go find someone who will suck me off and be worth my time." He spat.

Eddie could feel his heart drop, and the tears spill from his eyes upon hearing that statement. What was wrong with Richie? Why was he being so harsh toward Eddie?

"You wouldn't.." Eddie whispered, looking up at Richie with glossy and hurt eyes.

"Think I won't? You got it all twisted, sweets." Richie held Eddie's chin in his hand tightly.

The smaller boy reached up and pushed Richie's hand away roughly, moving back in hurt and fear. "You said you wouldn't ever hurt me. You told me you love me." He choked out, his hands holding the hem of his shirt now to keep them steadier.

What left the other boy's mouth after that, completely shattered Eddie to pieces.

"I lied. You're just a toy to me."


End file.
